She's JV to your varsity
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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