I'm so fucking centered right now
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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