my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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