I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
