i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
