I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
