Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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