When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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