how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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