I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
