So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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