hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize