He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize