He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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