Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
