I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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