Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
