chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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