Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
