Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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