i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
