he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We have started to decorate penises.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
