Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
