good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
