i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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