yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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