I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
