Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
