my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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