There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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