That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
