I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
