I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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