The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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