woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
