Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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