Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
