Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
