BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
