grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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