woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize