What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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