Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
