Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's official drugs can't kill me
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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