? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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