It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
