girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
