Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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