She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
