Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize