p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
