I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize