That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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