you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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