and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
