party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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