I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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