Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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