it wasn't lemon gatorade
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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