they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
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