just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
