I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
