Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
