Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
