I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
