Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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