I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
