Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
