You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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