Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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