she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize