he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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